This post is part of a series of posts entitled: Reflections from A Course in Miracles.
This is Chapter 4 The Illusions of the Ego, Introduction
This Introduction introduces us to several ideas. First, the idea of Devotion. I recently told one of my kids when speaking to him about his personal relationships;
“You want to surround yourself with people who will lift you up, who will pull their own weight and who can accept help from you without pulling you down.”
“The Bible says that you should go with a brother twice as far as he asks. It certainly does not suggest that you set him back on his journey. Devotion to a brother cannot set you back either, It can lead only to mutual progress. “
The little except is so powerful and reminds me of what I told my son. You want people in your life who lift you who, who will take your hand and climb up themselves, in a concerted effort, you take care of one another. This is the nature of relationships. Relationships are decisions to give and take, to lead and to follow. The ideal relationship is inspiring, it is not exhausting, fatiguing, draining. Have you ever had those people in your life? They tend to be chronic victims, they always need to be rescued from something (usually themselves). You love them, but you need some air. Someone I loved once called my a psychic vampire. I knew what he meant by that (See the description of the victim above). Those words ended up being catalysts for my own metamorphosis, more than 10 years ago.
When you train as both a life guard and a rescue SCUBA diver, you learn how to approach a panicking swimmer (or diver), to subvert them. Or, if they try to jump on top of your head to save themselves at your expense, you simply dive deeper, suddenly, as your body moves in the exact opposite direction of where they want to be, they let go and you move away until they tire themselves out. It seems scary to watch someone flail about until they start to drown but the alternative means putting yourself in danger.
This is what it what I meant when I told my son to have people who can accept help without pulling him down. Sometimes, people become dependent upon us for their happiness. If you have ever been on the receiving end of this “neediness” you know exactly how exhausting it can be. Ask any new parent how exhausting it is when another human being is dependent upon you. Having someone be completely dependent on you for their emotional needs or happiness is just as exhausting.
“The result of genuine devotion is inspiration, a word which properly understood is the opposite of fatigue.”
A relationship that fatigues us (an adult relationship with an adult) is not a healthy relationship, for either party. One of you becomes the victim and one of you the hero, the power is out of balance.
In partner dancing, there is a give and take between leading and following. My ballroom dance instructor used to tell me that I needed to give his hand resistance. If I was following without resistance to his lead, my hand would become heavy on his, like he was having to pull me around, rather than lead me. When I provided just the right amount of resistance, my hand could anticipate his movement, allowing me to follow effortlessly and he to lead. When both partners perform equally, there is a beautiful, fluid movement, a symphony of bodies, effortless flow.
How balanced are your relationships? Do you have any psychic vampires in your life? Are you draining the life out of someone else? It’s okay, we all have our moments. I certainly have had mine. So many of us walk around putting the fate of our happiness in the hands of others. A course in miracles seeks to teach us that everything in our life is a direct result of our own choices is some way. The moment you become aware, step into your personal power and begin making new choices, you will see the miracle in your turn of circumstances. When happiness is your choice and your power, you are free to inspire the ones you love rather than depend on them for your own happiness.
In paragraph 2, we learn lesson 2, the idea of “Just Be,” or “Be Still.”
Some things are out of our control. This is a fact. While our minds are very powerful and we create the circumstances of our existence, we do not operate in a vacuum. Seven Billion other human souls are co-creating on this planet, some days our creations are going to collide.
This lesson is about “Being Still,” during these moments of upset, when our worlds collide. After we recognize the part our mind plays in our creation, we must learn to sit back and trust that creation will create. It is important to know that those 7 Billion creations get all tangled up in each other, but if we learn to sit still and not resist, we will all get exactly what we put out there. (It is important to remember here that the law of manifestation sort of succeeds the Golden Rule in this regard, because you get back what you put out there, shit and all.)
So, once we get in the place where we are aware of everything we are putting out in the collective consciousness and we run into some snafus along the way… Relax, enjoy the ride and have faith that everything is going to work out, even if it is not working out exactly as you planned it. We will get into more about this in later posts.
The final idea introduced into this power packed, single page intro is the idea of suspending Judgment. This too is a power packed idea that we will explore more as we dive into chapter 4 and the topic fits in so well with a few other posts I was planning. I am looking forward to getting into this chapter with you!